Skiing - Val Thorens

As Alex, Bas and I took off in a Titan Airways (who they? – ed) flight to Chambery, France, the mood was good. Our first skiing holiday in many years was starting at the ungodly hour of a 6.10 am take-off. Charter flights. During the flight I discovered that having a seat pitch of 31” as opposed to Ryanair’s 30” turned the flight into a surprisingly comfortable one. Amazing what 1” will do.

There was also the “Dad, will we get there early enough to ski this afternoon?” question. I was more concerned with the “what will the snow be like so late in the season, 8 April?” question. At the airport – no snow. Could barely see any in the mountains. Inghams Ski had laid on a coach to take us to Val Thorens, and much to Bas’s pleasure it was a new Mercedes. For the first part of the 2 hour journey there was still little snow. We passed the Meribel resort and still nothing. But magically as we rose a further few metres there it was. Snow, and plenty of it. I had chosen Val Thorens to go to as is the highest resort in France simply to increase the chances of snow. 

We were dropped off at the hotel, told where we could get our ski equipment and were promised delivery of our ski passes that evening as I’d bought 6 days ones, Sunday to Friday.

Everything was super- efficient, and by 1.30 we had everything sorted. So there was only one thing to do – purchase afternoon passes for us and to hit the slopes. Where we discovered that it was reasonably warm at the village level, and slightly mushy snow, but the higher you went (the tallest skiable peak there is 3200m) the better the snow quality was.

I’d booked half board at the Hotel val Chaviere, so we once we’d finished on the slopes we headed back to hotel to freshen up and wander down to the bar area for a pre-dinner drink. The dinner was spectacularly good. Five courses were served. A soup, followed by a starter, followed by a main, then cheese, then dessert. All excellent. Throughout the week we had different soups and meats, all done beautifully, so even though I’d said to the boys that we’d probably go out to a restaurant a couple of times during the week we never did.

Monday was our first full day of skiing, and it felt so good to be back on the slopes.Muscle memory was working, and even though I hadn’t skied for years it seemed to come back to me very quickly. For lunch we skied down into Val Thorens and sat at the first pizza place we saw. The bill for 3 pizzas, 2 beers and coke came to nearly 90 euros. That was the last lunch we had out – from then on each morning we nipped to the supermarket, bought sandwiches crisps and a drink, and returned to the hotel at lunchtime to consume.

That afternoon, feeling good, the three of us made sure we had the SkiTrack app live on our phones and went down a fairly quiet red slope at speed. At the bottom Alex looked at his phone – 65km/h. Then Bas – 74 point something. He was happy until I showed him my phone – 90.6km/h.

What I decided not to tell the boys was that on my run I was getting quite quick when I got a bit nervous, tried to turn to slow down, couldn’t because of another skier, so had to carry on straight down the slope getting even faster. I saw a piste joining ours, so headed up it to slow down. I didn’t share, then, that my record was made at a slightly out of control speed.

Tuesday was more of the same. Bas tried to break my record, but kept getting stuck around 75km/h. At one point he demanded we swap phones as he was sure mine was over reading. But no, his next run was another 75km/h one.

Tuesday night, after another superb dinner, we headed off to find a bar as it was Champions League night, and Leicester were playing. We found a sports bar with a pool table, a chatty retired English guy, and a bunch of Danes who wanted to challenge us to pool. We kept winning, but it didn’t seem to dampen their enthusiasm.

Wednesday afternoon had a slight change of pace – as we skied past a café on the slopes we heard a live band playing classic rock songs. So, naturally, we had to stop and order a couple of beers. I have to say it was great listening to a more than adequate band in the sunshine half way up a mountain. 

Wednesday night and we were back at the same bar again – this time Real Madrid were playing.

Thursday morning and once more we hit the slopes. Mid-morning I was coming down a red slope, and just as I was getting into the tuck position for a speed run down it disaster struck. My back “went”, and I could no longer control my speed or direction. I couldn’t move, or swivel, or anything due to the pain. In the distance I could see a small skier, and I realised we were on a collision course.

I didn’t shout out, as I didn’t want them to stop, or turn – I just focussed on inching away as best I could. I passed behind her skis (for it was a she) by a matter of inches. The slope flattened, and I was able to come to a stop by the side of the piste before it dropped steeply again. I called the boys on my mobile who by now were at the bottom of the run, who answered “ah – that’s why we saw you so close to that little girl. Normally you give lots of room”!

And then the rescue started, as there was no way I could either walk or ski back to Val Thorens. First came the piste monitors on a 4 track. They kept asking where I’d crashed, and if I banged my head. In my rudimentary French I explained, no, there was no crash, I was lying down due to my back being seized up. Then they grabbed my leg, and asked if I could feel their hands. Yes I could, I was not paralysed.

They called for mountain rescue, the guy with the sledge. We went through the same rigmarole; No, no crash. No, hadn’t banged my head. No, wasn’t paralysed. Anyway, gingerly they put me on an inflatable mattress, which then went onto a sled. I was then trussed up like a turkey before being pulled down the resort. The bill for that was 462 euros.

I then went into an ambulance to be taken to the clinic for assessment. Once again I went through the story. X-rays were taken, and the doctor was happy when he confirmed that no discs were broken or fractured, it was just a compression injury, lumbago. I was then injected in my arse with firstly an anti-inflammatory drug, and then a pain killer. That was 160 euros, which I thought was not bad for a private clinic.

The Slide of Shame

Next stop was the pharmacy to buy the medicines required for the next 7 days. Injections for 2 days, morning and night, pills for the following 5 days. They cost 46 euros.

Good stuff for that money, as I was able to walk gingerly that afternoon. Naturally skiing was finished for me, so it was a case of watching a few movies on the iPad before returning for my evening injections.

The nurse doing the said injections charged me another 32 euros. So all in all a round 700 euros was spent. Thankfully I had insurance.

Thursday night’s dinner must have been designed to cheer me up – we had fondue, both the cheese and bread based one and the meat and oil. There didn’t seem to be a clash between the medicines and red wine, so I went to bed a semi-happy chap.

On Friday I had to say goodbye to the boys in the morning while they went off and did their thing. Still, I relaxed by watching yet more movies. I decided that day to treat the boys to a snowmobile in the evening. They had been on top form all week, and never once complained about the basic lunches we were having. My back meant I couldn’t go with them, so I only had to hire one – and at 130euros an hour for a guided trip that was expensive enough.

They had a blast, saying it was the perfect way to end the week. Saturday came and it was time to leave. We returned our equipment, and waited for the coach to take us back to the airport. Barring my back, this had been a superb week away.

Inghams gave us one of those customer satisfaction questionnaires to complete, which we were happy to do. Everything about the holiday was superb, and I am more than happy to recommend them. One question made us smile – we had to judge the “appearance of your rep” on a scale of Excellent to Poor. Yes, Camilla was/is very pretty, but was that what they really wanted to know?!

On the flight home Bas decided to offer me one final indignity and handed me his phone. Friday morning he’d gone for a speed record and managed 91.6 km/h.

I read it and wept, as they say.











Alex's view

What makes a sporting holiday GREAT ?

After our skiing holiday, I believe there are two simple answers : simplicity and adrenaline. Let me develop a little.

The all-in-one Inghams holidays meant all we had to do was reach the airport on time, then onwards, life was easy. Picked up at the airport, accompanied to the hotel reception, given our ski passes, shown where the ski rental shop was. No thinking or decision making necessary. That is the definition of relaxing. Dinner turned out to be even simpler: we were assigned a table in the hotel restaurant for the whole week and they served a fixed menu every evening. Of course there’s the risk of not being particularly a fan of a certain dish but what that meant was, again, no decision making. The only decision to be made was regarding lunch. 

The first day we tried a pizzeria, but that had two issues. The first was the price, it was ridiculously expensive but that’s not my problem. My issue with the pizzeria was that I had to decide what to eat. I was already sold on the fixed menu idea, and I was so exhausted all I wanted was food, I didn’t want to spend extra energy deciding on what food I wanted. From then onwards, always sandwiches for lunch. Again, it made our life easier, pick the same sandwich, crisps and drink every day, and no thinking is required anymore. The toughest decisions we had to make all week was deciding what to choose at the breakfast buffet but that situation occurred in the mornings when you have plenty of energy, so that’s ok.

Keeping it simple also applied on the slopes. We argued from time to time, but always because none of us wanted to decide what to do next, we were all happy to just follow along. The advantage of a small group. How to decide when to stop for lunch? When to call it a day? When the phrase ‘I’ve had enough’ or ‘I’m tired’ was pronounced for the second time, we would look at each other and decide it was time to head back to the hotel. Most of the time. 

The second aspect required is adrenaline; skiing always delivers when it comes to adrenaline. Always. The first couple of hours back on skies, your mind is trying to remember how it’s done, trying to reassure itself ‘yes, this is regular speed on skies, grow a pair, you’ll be fine’. You think you’re doing ok, then a bump throws you off-balance, somehow you gain control. ‘That was close!’. Once the confidence is back, because you’re with your lunatic and fearless brother and your refusing to age dad, you have to go for the speed record. I didn’t manage to reach their 90+km/h and yet it was one of the most frightening experiences. Think about it, you’re sliding on your feet. When Papa treated us to go on the snowmobiles, towards the end of the ride we managed to have the nerve to apply maximum throttle and we only reached 71km/h ! Is there any other situation where legs are faster than a petrol engine ?

The resort had an amateur ski-cross track so we had to try it. Obviously. After a couple of ‘individual’ runs, we had a race. I started off well, took an early lead. Somehow, I quickly fell back. That wasn’t ok. With only a few corners to go, Papa left the door open in the inside. I went for it. He fell. I hit him and went over him. As I was flying head first for the security barriers I found myself thinking ‘Oh this is cool, I’ve never been caught by a barrier before’. I then giggle as I get all tangled in it. Then, big problem, it collapses and I end up legs in the air, airborne, thinking ‘Now this isn’t good’. The head-first landing a few meters lower down was probably impressive. As I manage to stand up, I can’t stop laughing, my right leg can’t stop shivering - the adrenaline was pumping in fast! 

Adrenaline does have a weird effect on your body; the speed record idea sprung into mind because of Bas. We were going down a pretty steep blue slope rendered a bit more complicated by the irregular bumps. I was leading the way, really focused, at what I thought to be ‘high speed’. As I reach the left edge of the slope, I turn my eyes to the right and what do I see ? A lot of white and a black spot wizz through. My brain tries to process the information, it becomes clear, it was Bas. Bas overtook me as a leopard overtakes a tortoise. As I understood what just happened, I started laughing, so hard I had to stop. Once I managed to stop the tears, I met Bas at the bottom and found him still trying to stop laughing too. It was funny, not that funny, it was the adrenaline. So much adrenaline!

To summarise my thoughts, thanks to Inghams, we spent 100% of our available energy in having (extreme) fun and 0% on the usual holiday arguement ‘How to best spend the time we have?’. I believe that to be the recipe to the perfect holiday. 

EDIT: As I read through my report, I realise there’s a big mistake. Sure Inghams did a good job, but my thanks go to Papa!! Thank you Papa for a brilliant holiday! Thank you also for providing us with a great story to tell and great photos to show, a lot of people seem to enjoy the tale of your rescuing.